Wednesday, January 29, 2014

If I Stay (If I Stay, #1)
Author: Gayle Forman
Release date: April 2nd 2009
Publisher: Dutton Juvenile
Series: If I Stay # 1
Age Group: Young Adult
Genre: Contemporary Romance 
Add to your library: Goodreads

In a single moment, everything changes. Seventeen-year-old Mia has no memory of the accident; she can only recall riding along the snow-wet Oregon road with her family. Then, in a blink, she finds herself watching as her own damaged body is taken from the wreck...A sophisticated, layered, and heart-achingly beautiful story about the power of family and friends, the choices we all make, and the ultimate choice Mia commands. (via Goodreads)

Whenever I'm asked why I haven't read If I Stay, I always say that I'm scared to read it. I know it's amazing and all. I don't even know what it is all about back then. I was just really scared to read it. Then as I was typing away the details of this book, I realized this was released last April 2009. I forgot yet another reason why I kept on putting off reading this one. One of my childhood best friends died on May of the same year. I know, maybe I wasn't just scared to read this, maybe all along I felt something was wrong and I'm not supposed to read this or else I'd be in more pain. I just had this feeling that I should not read this at all. I only remember now that she was one of the reasons I haven't read this one. I totally forgot that a part of me was scared to read this because I'd be reminded of that time. You know, I'm this kind of person who always incorporate one thing to the other. Yet, I have forgotten about it completely. Which makes me feel guilty. A lot. Because somehow, it meant I have forgotten about her. Then I realized why I haven't read it. If I read it the same year, I might be bawling like a kid because my best friend was already brain dead. It'll put me back to that moment when I was sitting beside her and talking to her without getting any response. I still felt sad while I read this last month. But if I read this when everything was still so fresh, I might be digging up my own grave. I don't even expect you to understand it. I know it was just weird but I just want it out. Alright, I'm talking too much. Going back...

If I Stay called to me from the beginning I read the blurb. I was intrigued as to what happen to Mia that she had to decide on that kind of matter. I never really read any spoilers. Thank God. So I was expecting things when it hit me what was going to happen and what was about to happen. Yes, it was painful. How can it possibly happen that in a matter of seconds, every one you love is gone? Or well, most of them. Accidents do really happen, when they do, sometimes you wish that you were the one gone instead of the one left behind.

This may not be a spoiler anymore because almost everyone knew it already. Or if you don't, stop right now. Mia was in a state of limbo. She was in between. You know that movie Just Like Heaven? Yes, like that. It was painful to see her like that. My heart was literally aching for her because really, I would want to just die if I were on her shoes. Then I thought of my best friend. Where was she when she was brain dead already? Oh yeah, one of the nurses saw her roaming around in the hospital wearing a white gown. But Mia didn't know what to do. I actually believe that people who are in a state of coma are still fighting for their lives. How? I don't freaking know. I just know they are still there somehow doing their best to wake up and still be in this world. What Mia experienced was just utterly heartbreaking. I guess whatever choice she make, she'll be in pain. She just needed to know that it's still worth it to live, you know?

Of course, it's not just heartbreaking for Mia. It was also painful for the people who were by her side. Honestly, I think it is most painful for the people who are left behind. They get to carry around the pain with them while the departed ones are in heaven (I believe so) already. It made me cry a lot. Reading about Mia's grandparents, her best friend and of course, Adam. Seriously, stop whatever you're doing right now. And. Read. This.

Can I just tell you that I absolutely loved the romance between Mia and Adam? It is one of the purest form of love I've encountered. Ever. With the accompaniment of music. Music brought them together. And holy yes, the music in here was really really really hypnotizing. I don't know with you guys. But that's the only way I can decribe my feelings for it.

What else can I say? Forgive me for being really talkative right now. I want to convey just how much I have all the feels for this novel. Or maybe words aren't enough. And you should just definitely read this by yourselves.

Hold on, before I end this, I just want to tell you guys that Gayle Forman is such an amazing author. Her writing was smooth and just oh relatable and feel-able. Is there even such a word? Okay, whatever, but you will absolutely feel her words. Mind you.

In the end, Mia chose what she believed was best for her. Her journey while she was in the limbo made her realize a lot of things. It's not just about Adam. It's all about her life, her grandparents, her best friend, and Music.

If I Stay is one of the most stunning YA novels I've ever read. It will give you ALL THE FEELS. It will live through your body, mind and soul. PLEASE JUST READ THIS NOW.

About the Author
Gayle FormanGayle Forman is an award-winning, international best-selling author and journalist whose articles have appeared din numerous publications. She is the author of the New York Times bestsellers If I Stay  and Where She Went, as well as Sisters in Sanity (HarperTeen)

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